


You have no idea

by TrickyVicky3



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9822884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickyVicky3/pseuds/TrickyVicky3
Summary: For Adil, there hadn’t been a day where he didn’t take note of the softly spoken, younger Hamilton brother.





	

-

For Adil, there hadn’t been a day where he didn’t take note of the softly spoken, younger Hamilton brother.  
  
He hadn’t been working at the Halcyon for long, but as head bartender, noticing things was in his job description, and he noticed Toby for sure.  
  
It was hard not to see the way he flinched from his father’s hand but warmly embraced his brother and Miss Garland, how he avoided eye contact with people of his own status but never hesitated in greeting the staff with warm smiles; hard not to spot his tight-lipped indignity when someone would share a bigoted opinion.  
  
Yes it was very hard for Adil to not watch Toby’s every move, but he succeeded. Well, mostly.  
  
He tried his best anyway.  
  
He’s just a man. A very weak man, who is continuously in the presence of a very attractive man.  
  
Give him a break.  
  
\---  
  
The best days were the ones where Toby sat at the bar reading and making sly comments about people's atrocious fashion senses and glaring marital problems.  
  
It was harsh yes but it was nothing Adil himself hadn’t thought, he was just surprised Toby had the audacity to trust him with his thoughts. Today was one of these days.  
  
“You know Mr Hamilton, you shouldn’t say these things to me, careless talk costs lives and all that”  
  
Toby simply snorted and replied, “Please, you must see and hear a lot, working the work you do, I bet you get far juicier gossip than whatever I can come up with”.  
  
Adil smiled to himself, “While that my be, Mr Hamilton, it is not my place to spread rumours or gossip” He kept his tone lightly chiding, praying Toby would not take offence.  
  
Toby grinned up at him, placing his book down on the surface of the bar, “Why Mr Joshi you mean to tell me you’re holding out on me? I must say I am rather offended”.  
  
Adil smirked "Surely you know the secret to being a good bartender is knowing when to tell secrets, and when to keep your mouth shut".  
  
Toby laughed breathlessly, "Mr Joshi if you kept your mouth shut then whatever would I do with you?".  
  
Adil smirks.  
  
"Don't you know Mr Hamilton, half the fun is in the looking".  
  
Wait.  
  
Abort. Abort.  
  
Adil freezes as Toby regards him silently, not yet having responded to his statement. Eventually Toby loosens up again, letting out a long sigh.  
  
"In that case, I won't tell if you don't"  
  
Neither of them make eye contact as Toby picks his book back up and walks out of the bar, leaving Adil smiling softly to himself.  
  
\---  
  
Adil's first kiss with a boy had been beautiful, the kind of kiss you read about in romance novels. He gets the impression Toby didn't get that luxury.  
  
He doesn't even consider the possibility that that kiss might have been Toby's first ever with a man, hell, with anyone, until he's home and in bed that night; and once the thought is there, it refuses to leave.  
  
The thought that Toby doesn't feel the same way, that Adil took that choice from him, makes him feel sick, and adds to the anxiety that's been building inside him since he kissed Toby earlier that day.  
  
\---  
  
Toby does feel the same, and it's glorious. He jumps headfirst into their kiss, his passion overwhelming Adil, who never imagined Toby would take the lead.  
  
But Toby continues to surprise him, his wandering hands feel their way around Adil's face, down his body and Adil can't react fast enough.  
  
Toby responds eagerly to every new touch and sensation as Adil leads him through, fumbling and awkward but perfect.  
  
\---  
  
This thing, whatever it is, it continues. To Adil's complete disbelief, Toby doesn't bore of him, or grow tired of sneaking around for a member of staff.  
  
If anything, as time goes by it seems Toby is falling just as fast as he is and he can't control how light he feels when Toby's around.  
  
Having something to look forward to at the end of the day, having someone to see, to hold and kiss and touch, it's a life he never imagined for himself, but God he loves it, he never wants it to end.  
  
\---  
  
Losing Toby was inevitable, when D'Abberville forced him to spy on Toby he knew it would backfire, that he would get hurt, that Toby would get hurt.  
  
He wasn't expecting the way he felt though, wasn't expecting the wave of emotion that hit him when Toby stormed out, when he realised that was it, Toby had finished them and he couldn't even show his pain.  
  
He couldn't explain to people why he looked crushed all the time, why his smile had lost it's shine, why everyone's favourite bartender had lost the skip in their step.  
  
He couldn't even blame Toby, just himself, Mr D'Abberville, the world for criminalising something so pure. How could what he had with Toby ever be classified as anything else?  
  
But no. He just had to get on with life, had to see Toby everyday but not be able to touch him, to reach out to him. It killed him, and he couldn't help but wonder, did it hurt Toby too?  
  
\---  
  
When the bomb went off, Adil was in the backroom, sheltered from the explosion. Toby however, wasn't.  
  
He tried not to dwell on the fact that Toby was his priority when several members of staff were running around, along with hotel guests who were frantically searching for loved ones.  
  
The last time he had seen Toby he had been walking off into the lobby. Toby, who was already so emotionally and phisically drained from the nasty business with Mr D'Abberville.  
  
Toby who didn't deserve to die. Who couldn't die.  
  
He doesn't see him. He searches along with the staff, and when the fire engines get there he is pulled away by Emma, taken to get checked out before he's sent home, still with no news of Toby.  
  
The next day, when he finally hears the news, he almost feels bad for the relief that soars through him.  
  
\---  
  
The explosion was devastating.  
  
For Lord Hamilton, whose life had halted after his injury. For his brother, for Emma, for his mother, who almost lost her son, and did lose her fiance.  
  
Which, Adil had to admit. Good. He deserved it.  
  
He watched from the shadows as Toby had to take control, be the leader he had never planned to be, run a hotel he had never wanted in the first place as his brothed recovered.  
  
He kept a close eye on Toby, who was obviously shaken, but he was also lighter now,  as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders following Mr D'Abberville's death.  
  
He started to morph back into the Toby he had been while he and Adil were together. He went back to smiling more, joking with the staff again (not Adil, never Adil anymore) and just generally acting happier.  
  
It didn't hurt as much to watch him anymore.  
  
\---  
  
That is, until he befriended Mr O'Hara again. The American had been flitting around since the explosion, getting first hand accounts on the war, on the stories of the people.  
  
After Emma and Lord Hamilton had announced their engagement he seemed subdued, and Adil was sure he wouldn't want to come back. But he did, for Toby.  
  
Adil almost bumped into them early one morning, they were stood outside the staff entrance together smoking, so Adil hid, and he listened. 

"You've got to give into me at some point" Mr O'Hara insists, as they argue in an obviously practiced way, and Adil wonders absentmindedly how often they've had this arguement.

"Come to America with me Toby, what have you got going on here? Your brother and Miss Garland have the hotel, your mum's actin' normal again, you ain't gonna miss much and you know it"  
  
To that Toby simply snorted "Don't insult me Joe, my mother's never been normal". Mr O'Hara laughed, "Sure thing kid, consider it though, they love the accent out there, you'll be the most sought after eligible bachelor for miles around".  
  
Adil had heard too much, he turned tail and fled back into the hotel, heart hammering at the thought of Toby leaving the country.  
  
\---  
  
Adil liked to think of himself as a rational person. Kissing Toby that first time had been a fluke, a momentary loss of will. Usually he was far more level headed.  
  
Which is why for the life of him, he can't work out why he is standing outside Toby's door. He knocks before he loses confidence.  
  
When Toby answers the door Adil can't breathe, this was the closest they had been in months. Adil can count the freckles on Toby's neck from this distance, and distantly remembers mapping them with his tongue.  
  
Toby's hair falls loose over his forehead into his eyes, and his dressing gown is pulled half-heartedly around his waist. Adil absentmindedly remembers how fun it was to untie the ribbon and pull Toby out of it.  
  
"Mr Hamilton" he tries not to wince as his voice breaks "May I come in?".  
  
Toby steps back, almost subconciously, his face a mix of apprehension, annoyance and suspicion. He looks up and down the corridor as he speaks, rather than make eye contact with Adil.  
  
"I didn't order anything" He gestures to the tray of coffee Adil had balanced on his left palm. Adil sighs as he searches Toby's face earnestly, "I know" he replies.  
  
Toby's face scrunches up in confusion but he steps back and allows Adil to enter the room for the first time since their fight, Since Toby had walked out on Adil after learning about his betrayal.  
  
The room looks largely the same and Adil didn't know what he was expecting as he places the tray on the table.  
  
He turns back to face Toby who's stood in front of the bed with his arms crossed. Adil wonders if he lies in bed sometimes and remembers the things they did there, the love they made.  
  
"What do you want Adil?"  
  
At the sound of his name from Toby's lips for the first time in six months, the dam breaks and Adil stalks towards Toby, stopping only a couple of feet away.

"Please don't go to America" 

Toby scoffs, "That was a private conversation-" Adil shakes his head and moves closer, his voice breaking as he reaches for Toby's hand and Toby doesn't pull away.

"Please" he whispers, "Please don't leave me".

Toby's face scrunches up and his hand flexes from where it stays caught in Adil's. He still doesn't pull it away though. "Adil that's not fair" He practically whines as he turns his head away.

"No Toby please" Adil drops Toby's hand and reaches out to cup his face in his hands, a cruel imitation of all the times Toby did this to him.

"I know that I ruined whatever hope I had with you but please, don't make me not see you everyday I don't think I could stand it" 

Toby's eyes search Adil's, who isn't sure what exactly he's looking for, he just hopes he understands the sincerity. Whatever it is he finds seems to placate him and Adil can't stop himself from glancing at Toby's lips as he licks them in what Adil can only assume is nervousness.

His thumbs stroke along Toby's cheekbones, mainly from muscle memory and he watches fondly as Toby's eyes flutter closed at the touch.

He can't help the subconcious way he leans in, memories fill his head of previous kisses that began like this in his very room and his heart hammers when Toby visably swallows but doesn't pull away.

The kiss, when it finally comes, is shy and hesistant and nothing like the passionate ones they shared before... Well, before.

Adil's hands stay cupped tightly around Toby's face, and he smiles into the kiss when he feels Toby's hands wrap hesistantly around his waist, his fingers squeezing into Adil's sides gently.

When they finally pull back Adil searches Toby's face methodically for any signs of regret or anger. When he finds none he brings his hands down from Toby's cheeks and smooths them down the front of his dressing gown.

"I wasn't going to go anyway" Toby breathes out eventually, "I've never liked Americans, too loud and full of themselves".

Adil laughs "Even Mr O'Hara?".

Toby smirks down at him, "Especially Mr O'Hara".

They desolve into hushed giggles as Toby moves his arms to settle more around Adil's waist so he can link his hands together in the small of Adil's back.

"I don't blame you" Toby finally breaks their comfortable silence, "He made you do it and you only didn't tell me to protect your family".

And you" Adil butts in, "I didn't want him to hurt you-".

Before he can babble too much Toby stops him, interupting him with a soft "Hey". He searches Adil's eyes earnestly before he speaks softly. 

"I love you too"

Adil's mouth drops and he lets out a sharp breath of air.

When he doesn't immediately respond Toby backpedals faster than should be possible and he unwinds his arms to pull away from Adil.

"If you don't feel that way anymore I totally understand it's - it's okay really I don't know why I thought -"

"Toby"

"Because really I completely walked out on you-"

"Toby"

"And I get that maybe you don't want me-"

Adil finally gives up on getting through to Toby with his words and instead reaches out and loops his fingers around his dressing gown ribbon and pulls him back in.

During his freak out Toby had moved back away from Adil and severed all contact between them. Adil had never resented a space as much as he did then.

As he pulls Toby in, he pushes them both backwards until Toby's back is against the wall, and the jolt as his body hits it cuts him off mid-speech.

Adil pushes forward and reaches up, pressing their lips together hungrily, his hands work their way upwards until they are wrapped around Toby's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. 

Toby pulls him in, looping his fingers through Adil's belt to keep him close, as they begin to get breathless and caught up Toby pulls back suddenly.

"So does this mean you still love me?"

Adil smiles widely, pressing their foreheads together, letting their breath mingle.

"Oh Toby, I don't think I could stop even if I wanted to".

Toby smiles, a small smile that radiates happiness, "So yes then?".

Adil kisses him, once, twice, three times, letting the last one linger a little.

"You have no idea".

-

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is beautiful and so are you <3


End file.
